Kink



Kink and sexual diversity



Kink can, for example, include dirty talking, role play, and power dynamics like dominance vs submission. A study in Canada shows that many people have fantasized about power play, but fantasizing about something doesn’t always mean wanting to experience it. Kink means that good communication and consent are especially important.


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Kink is common



Approximately half of the U.S. population reports having a preference that goes beyond 'normal sex.' Studies show varying results, but between 20-40% consider themselves 'kinky.' A study in Canada shows that about half have fantasized about power play, i.e., having a submissive or dominant role in bed. Fantasies do not automatically mean wanting to act them out, but these numbers suggest that kink is common.


Kink can include, for example, role play. Kink is an interest in a particular sexual act, while a fetish involves being turned on by specific objects or specific parts of the body, but it can also include being aroused by particular sexual acts. Kink can include, for example, dirty talking, role play, and power dynamics such as dominance vs submission.





Sexual consent



Communication



For kink to be based on solid foundations, very good communication is required. If someone is unsure or hesitant about doing something kinky during an intimate act, it’s better to wait and talk about it. Since kink can include, for example, role-playing where both parties step into separate roles, it’s important that both feel comfortable with what they like and where the boundaries are. When stepping into a role, it’s important to define what that role can and cannot do to avoid crossing boundaries.


Kink in porn



A lot of kink is reflected in the porn industry. Many young people report that, for example, 'choking sex' is common. Some experts talk about how choking violence in porn mirrors destructive relationships, especially among young adults. It’s important to be aware of where kink can come from and what makes the experience positive or negative.

For kink to be something positive, a lot of self-awareness, self-knowledge, boundary-setting, and good communication with the other person are needed. Betty Martin's book 'The Wheel of Consent' provides a model for good communication for sexual interaction in general, but also for BDSM and kink. You can also read about The Wheel of Consent online. We go deeper into The Wheel of Consent in our free online lecture, available under the 'webinar' section.



Consent



It is important to be aware of how your own sexual preferences interact (or clash) with the other person's, and how we can ensure that we have sex with safety, consent, and good communication.


Consent is about an explicit yes. It’s not about someone being nagged or persuaded into sex. Consent means talking, tuning in, and, above all, being attentive to the other person’s sexual pleasure. What does your partner want to do, and how? Do you want the same thing or something different



SRHR & Sexual Health Education



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